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2005-11-02 - 10:52 a.m.


I am sorry I haven�t updated in a while.

I did finally get over the cold I had in my last entry. For those concerned folks, it turned out to be a simple head cold, and not Avian Bird Flu, as I had originally convinced myself that I was surely dying from. Additionally, it has been brought to my attention that if one gets the bird flu, you do not mutate and gain super bird like powers like I had kind of hoped, but rather you just get sick and then die. So now that I know that, in hindsight, I�m kinda glad that it wasn�t bird flu.

I went to see Bruce Springsteen a few weeks ago�(has it been that long since I�ve updated?).

This pains me greatly to type, as we all know, Bruce is god incarnate. So it�s with a heavy heart that I have to say, Springsteen�s latest tour sucks.

Not just a little.

A lot.

Bruce re-interprets many of his older songs and sings them with a slow, nasty, moaning way that at first is only slightly annoying, then grows into something almost comical. Then back to annoying, and then finally you just feel sad. Sad cause you paid $100 a pop for this crap.

Leaving the concert, walking back to where the car was parked, a shiney, brand new Escalade, pulls up and stops at the traffic light. Sitting in the front passengers seat is the man himself: Bruce Springsteen. Here's about 3 feet from me.

So what do I do? Do I flip him the bird and yell out, "Hey Bruce! I want my money back, you cock sucking monkey! That was the worst fucking performance I've ever seen!"

No. I do not yell that out.

I stand there like a dufus and wave franticially and smile and jump up and down like I just won the special olimpics.

I am so fucking cool it is painful.

Yea, I know. I should be writing concert reviews professionally.

Anyhow, my Halloween party; Pumpkinpalooza was a huge success. This was the 7th year that we�ve held this party and each year it�s gets bigger and bigger. We had about 60 folks attend this year and about 20 pumpkins gave their life for my entertainment. Here are a few pics, but they don�t do the party justice and the retard who was in charge of the camera (not me, I was drunk busy) didn�t take any pictures of my great props and how truly fucking awesome my house looked�.I blame my brother-in law who took them.

Anyhow, are you ready? because here we go:

My friend Mike won this year. The pumpkins don�t look that good, but the �baby� on the left is rigged to a motion sensor. When someone walked by, the head lit up, it started to cry and he had the whole thing rigged to a pump system so that the baby pee'd out a stream of (hopefully fake) baby piss at you. It worked very well.

Clever. Over done. And obnoxious. The crowd ate it up and crowned him grand prize pumpkin carving winner.

Second place was what I thought a very clever pumpkin. This was actually my favorite:

And third place went to my brother in law who took 3 friggin hours to carve this: I must admit, it looked cool:

This was a quick pumpkin to do, and it looked cool. It didn�t win any prizes, but I liked it a lot:

Spiders were popular this year. Here�s another one that I liked:

And finally a few pics of some decorations, but nothing that great. I�ll bug my lovely wife to load up some of the better decoration pics.

Ok here�s a few shot of some of the pumpkins lit up:

Any of you sick monkeys familiar with the infamous �Goatse� picture that floated around on the web? If not go out and do a Google Image Search (Safe Search = Off) and after you get done throwing up, come back and take a look at this pumpkin. It looks nothing like it, and was a complete disappointment, Still Loopy and Non Good Daddy will appreciate it:

I have a friend that�s not the brightest bulb in the Halloween sign. Here is his entry:

Someone did a Cinderella pumpkin. Maybe it�s Snow White, I don�t know�.

I guess this is supposed to be some type of �Tribal� pumpkin. As I said before, some of my friends aren't going to win any scholarships anytime soon.

Hey�at least someone got it right. This should have won a prize:

I think Forest Gump did this one:

And my wife attempted to do a New Orleans scene. I guess the pumpkins are supposed to represent houses, and as you can see the whole thing is flooded out. I don�t think it came out that good at all, but I will say, the dead floating babies were a very nice touch as well as the dead cats and dogs. Hooray for N'awlenz!

And if you stayed this long. I will post a pic that makes me look complete and utter fucking retard. See what I am willing to do, just to entertain you fuckers?

Hey, have a great week.

Cash Out - Another Round

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