2005-08-31 - 1:52 p.m.
It’s true.
Men are from Mars and women from Venus.
It amazes me that simply having different genitals can make such a difference in people’s thoughts and behaviors.
For example, take hurricane Katrina. It’s a devastating loss of life, property and plastic beads.
My wife and I feel horrible about it. Absolutely horrible.
It was only 6 short years ago that my lovely wife and I honeymooned in the Big Easy. We have wonderful, booze addled flashbacks of some of the greatest food, half naked vampires and semi-hygienic 2 drink minimum strip joints you’ll ever find.
Now my wife and I both agreed we should do something to help. However, we both have significantly different ideas on what to do.
Her idea? (Get this…) Donate to the Red Cross.
Booooooooooring.
My idea? We mix up the last packet of Pat O’Brian’s Hurricane mix that I have hidden away and sit up on the roof of the house. I can easily fit a couple of lawn chairs up there.
I’ll wave a homemade rescue flag, fashioned from my soiled underwear, at any low flying aircraft. (In the event that there are no low-flying rescue aircraft currently circling the suburbs of central Massachusetts, I reserve the right to simply scream at the neighbors)
Hell, I even have a box full of beads. I’ll toss them down to any buxom girls that might happen to walk by.
“Hey! Show us your tits!” I’ll scream out in a drunken haze as I rain strands of gaudy beads down upon them. “Thank you! God Bless you! Don’t forget to donate blood!” I’ll helpfully remind them.
Hopefully my lovely wife will have the video camera running.
See? It’s all about raising peoples awareness. It’s kinda of a political thing. Do I have to draw you a picture?
Mars and Venus, people. Mars and Venus.
Donations to the Red Cross can be made on-line at:
https://www.redcross.org/donate/donation-form.asp
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