2005-08-04 - 3:53 p.m.
After a hard day at work surfing for internet porn and make personal long distance phone calls, I like to sit out on my deck and have a tall, cold drink. or two and unwind.
Yesterday was no different.
Out on my back deck, while waiting for my lovely wife to bring me out a my drink, I looked out over the swimming pool –I didn't have my glasses on, but I did notice how amazingly clean and clear my swimming pool water looked.
"Damn, my wife did a great job vacuuming and cleaning this thing last night. It looks absolutely spotless" I thought to myself. “She was out here till well past 10:00 doing this, and I must say it looks pretty fucking good…..If only she could do such a good job mowing the lawn or changing my car’s oil”
Upon closer inspection, I discovered the pool was absolutely fucking empty. There was no amazing clean and clear water in it. Nope, just a bunch of nothing floating around where my cool and refreshing water should be.
“This isn’t right” I thought to myself. “My pool should have water in it.”
“Honey” I hollered into the kitchen “Shouldn’t the pool have water in it?”
“Yes” she came out and handed me my drink.
I took a long sip of my Tuesday, 5:35 p.m. bourbon and looked long and hard at the pool.
“Yes. Yes it should” I finally concluded. “There should be water in this thing”.
Putting my eye glasses on, I could make out two rips along the bottom edge. Walking around the pool I discovered my back yard hard turned into a swamp from the leaking pool. Huh.
Damn damn damn.
Fuck fuck fuck
Shit shit shit.
I had another drink.
Today, I’ve got my lovely wife fixing it as we speak. Hopefully tonight’s 5:35 burbon will go better than last night’s did, and I wont have to worry about the pool and handling all the household crises.
Christ, I’m only one man.
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