2005-03-03 - 9:22 a.m.
Things I wish I didn’t say.
You know, I’ve been a real prick lately.
Now, I can hear you all saying to you computer screens “No! No Andy, that’s just not true! You’re a great guy! Let me introduce you to my sister….”
And while usually I would tend to agree with you, I have to say, lately I’ve been a prick.
For instance:
I guess I shouldn’t have implied that the porktornado was someone who would take your money under false pretenses and then use said monies on hookers, crack and prepubescent boys. Reflecting upon my comments, I can see how some people might take that the wrong way. I’m sorry Dusty. From what I heard, you would never give prepubescent boys crack.
Crack makes them too jittery. Roofies work much better.
I can also see how maybe twobaddogs could get a bit upset when she asked how she could get back at her assholey neighbor.
My suggestion? Sleep with him.
I’m sorry 2baddogs, for a moment I thought I was talking to my ex-wife. I hope you didn’t take my suggestion as a reflection upon your sexual prowess, skills and attraction.
From what Greg at ayred-out tells me, you are an outright animal in bed and the things you do after a few shots of Jose Curvo is outright Nirvana. He told me about the time with you, him and the circus midget….man…well, I’m sorry for ever insinuating that sleeping with you would be good revenge.
Let’s see…I’ve suggested to warcrygirl, that her husband has the mental capacity of Homer Simpson, which I guess she could have taken in the wrong way.
I should also let you know it was me who reported you to the Department of Child Welfare. After thinking about it, I can see now how that I may have slightly overstepped the boundaries of internet blogging.
In other posts, I have mocked the flamboyant incredipete for his complete and utter inability to attract a member of the opposite sex. Furthermore, I suggested that there are several websites, rings and message boards in existence solely for the purpose of mocking him. Sorry Pete. I know of only 2 sites, which is a far cry from “Several”. It was wrong of me to suggest otherwise. I truly hope you get laid this year.
To Rhi, I’m sorry for ogling over your pictures and making sophomoric comments about your wonderful fun bags. I’m sure you have a tasty caboose too. Hey, take a look at her here: rhidundantx2 and tell me she isn’t a fine, sweet, sweet piece.
To the highschool teacher who shall rename nameless, I am sorry for suggesting that the reason your husband left you was due to the many years of your cold, loveless self centered hatred for all men. I am pretty sure in real life you are not the shrill harpy you come across as. Also please forward my apologies to your son. I am sure he will go far with his Bachelors degree in Art History. Hey, keep reaching for the stars there, Scooter.
When I learned that the god-of-whine was married, perhaps I shouldn’t have suggested that his marriage was only recognized in MA, VT and for a short period; SanFrancisco. Sorry Pat, that comment may have given others the wrong impression.
lisarookie, I’m sorry for signing you up for all those Sexaholic anonymous web sites. That was defiantly uncalled for. I am sure you already had registered with them.
anisettekiss She knows jack shit about football. Sorry Jena, All I can say is that the Eagles don’t suck that bad, and your idiotic devotion to them is something I shouldn’t make fun of. I am sure you have a hard enough time in life, and more than your fair share of people picking on you without me adding to it all.
There are too many for me to specifically call out here: Gump, Wombat, Pandi, Genghis, Poopi, Bill (hey I'm sure there are many non-casterated men who drive mini vans).....sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry.
Oh, and one more thing, juddhole, sorry for posting those pics of you in the kilt to the Men Cross Dressing as Girl Scouts porn site. I don’t know what I was thinking.
Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.
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