2005-02-10 - 12:48 p.m.
I’ve been considering getting one of those Tivo doo-hickies for my television. My satellite provider tells me they can set me up with one, including the monthly service fee, for an additional $10 per month.
Hmmmmm.
People tell me that I’d love it and how they cannot live without theirs.
“You’d love it!” Dwayne told me as he rummaged through my refrigerator looking for the last beer
“I can’t live without mine!” Ralph claimed as he polished off the last of my cashews.
Still, I’m concerned for a few reasons:
First off, I don’t know anyone named Dwayne or Ralph.
And secondly I think my monthly television bill is already too expensive. The satellite dish and all the channels are currently running me $50 a month. I think that’s too much.
You see, I was raised thinking only idiots pay to watch TV. I remember my folks laughing when cable first came out in the 70’s. “Who would ever pay to watch TV? Only an idiot!” They laughed and laughed and laughed.
Of course my parents also laughed when the school system required polio vaccinations.
My leg braces come off next month.
Anyhow, I spent my youth watching only 7 channels. And watching those 7 Channels was a team effort.
To watch the “Brady Bunch” I needed my little sister to hold the tin foil wrapped rabbit ears antenna in such a way that she looked like a spastic karate kid in the "Crane" position. And if you wanted to watch channel 56, you needed an additional person who had the skill and precision of a safe cracker to constantly re-adjust the UHF dial.
Hell, the things we had to do to tune in “Speed Racer” or “Kimba the White Lion” made us look like we were posing for the Abu Ghraib yearbook.
2 years ago I bit the bullet and bought a nice telivision, hooked it up to a satellite dish, and ran the thing through a home theater system. I liked it. I thought I was cool. Finally I had a decent set up. Cartoons and porn never looked better. I thought back to my younger days and my cableless parents and I laughed and laughed and laughed.
But just the other day, my 17 year old nephew looks at it and says “Phhhhft you need 42 plasma, a Bose system and a DVR.”
Jesus f’ing Christ. Here’s a kid who can’t afford matching socks and he wants me to drop $7 grand on a whole new system? I don’t think so. He led me to believe *everyone* has that set up. It’s him isn’t it? I don’t have kids so I don’t know what’s cool. But this kid is telling me I’m a dinosaur and I should be ashamed at my set up.
But all I can think of is looking like my folks who refused to pony up $5.00 a month so we wouldn't cramp up while watching Bonanza. Damnit. I have absollutely no perpsective on this.I blame my dysfunctional TV experinces as a youth.
Please tell me that normal folks don’t have $7000 TV’s in their homes. My friends don’t. I don’t, but then again I’ve never considered myself to be normal. Hey! Joe six-pack, do you really have a $7000 television set up in your house? Fuck me. One of us is an idiot.
I may get the Tivo set up, but that’s it. And even then, I’m hesitant to spend the $10 bucks. I mean I don’t think there is that much stuff on TV worth watching.
I spend most of my time watching re-runs of the Simpson’s and Seinfeld. Do I really need to record re-runs?
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