2005-02-01 - 11:28 a.m.
This past Saturday night, after a fantastic dinner, my friend Mike and I were sitting in the hot tub drinking beer and shooting the shit. You know, trying to figure out how to spend the extra millions of dollars we have, wondering if our huge penises might actually be too big, and debating if our supermodel wives might actually be too beautiful. Life is tough.
I’m also full of shit. But we already knew that and it’s beside the point.
Actually, we were arguing over how Superman cuts his hair and fingernails, and other deep subjects.
When out of nowhere, from some far off retarded corner of our inebriated brains we wondered just how fucking fantastic it would be to hop out of the tub, dive into the snow, roll around and then jump back into the tub.
The more we thought about, the whole idea just seemed to get better and better. I wondered aloud if this is how some people get pneumonia. Mike assured me “No. Pneumonia is caused by a virus, not the cold”. I trust Mike. Mike is a genius. I think his job is somewhat related to the Health care industry, so he must be right. After a few more beers, we convinced ourselves that we would be stupid not to try it.
Behold! The power of beer.
Jumping out of a 104 degree hot tub at Midnight into 2 feet of fluffy snow on a freezing January night in central Massachusetts is a unique sensation…very unique.
It feels like burning.
Wanting to make sure we fully experienced the moment, we did it again. This time we made snow angels.
Yup. It definitely felt like a million hot pins and needles jabbing you all over. Jumping back into the tub creates the feeling that your skin is engulfed in flames. We came to the conclusion that this probably wasn’t as good an idea as we first thought. Just to make sure, my buddy mike did what could only be described as a beautiful belly flop back into the snow and pretended to do the breast stroke. I attempted the dog paddle.
Our lovely wives came out to see what all the commotion was about. We tried unsuccessfully to convince them that this was a manly, healthy, enjoyable thing and people travel to Iceland and pay thousands of dollars to do just this.
Our lovely wives didn’t believe us, and actually suggested that drinking might make us do stupid things. Christ. Could it be true? Could drinking alcohol impede one’s ability to make rational decisions?
More study is required
34 comments so far
